Every office has a translation gap, the difference between what’s actually said out loud and what everyone is secretly thinking. We put together a handful of classics so you can get a few laughs in while you sip your morning coffee, because we know once you clock in, the only anger you can get out will be in your mind.

---

"Sharon, we just wanted to circle back on the feedback from your last performance review."

Translator: "You've been coasting since March Sharon, and it doesn't look like you'll be here much longer.”

‍

"We're excited to announce some organizational changes as we move into next quarter."

Translator: "I can’t wait to get rid of some of you.”

‍

"Let's take this offline."

Translator: "I don’t want to have to tell you about yourself in public.”

‍

"Per my last email—"

Translator: "Do you even know how to read?”

‍

"We value work-life balance here."

Translator: "I lied. You don't have a life outside this office.”

‍

"This meeting could have been an email."

Translator: "You had one job, and it wasn’t this meeting.”

‍

"Let's put a pin in that."

Translator: "Your ideas are dumb.”

‍